The Pink FlexiRuler Fails ,,, Or Does It?
by I am the Cake Fairy
Summary: [sequel to Return of the Pink FlexiRuler][au][random pairing][KakaTen][WTF!] Alas! The Pink FlexiRuler, no longer of Love, has failed! Has all been for naught! ? But wait... what's that Sasuke hears?


Sasuke tapped his chin lightly with the Pink FlexiRuler of love whose interference in his love life had changed his life. For the better. At least that's what everybody thought. You never knew with flexirulers. Especially pink ones. And ones that were known to alter love lives.

But why was Sasuke tapping his head lightly with such a vulgar, not-straight (just like him and half the Naruto cast, in the author-ess's opinion) bit of plastic that had the metric measurement units for length on it? Well, dear children, for that answer, there is a tale to be told, and what a tale indeed! A tale for the ages! Centuries after this is written, peoples of the future shall ogle it in awe, thinking, 'Oh, what a tale!'

He was bored.

Now get off my lawn you whipper-snappers! Don't make me go old-person on jutsu on your pathetic asses! That's right, go crying home to your mommies, you little hooligans! You little demon spawns don't deserve the youth bestowed upon you!

But anyway, _why_ was Sasuke bored? Clearly it was because there was no good gossip going around nowadays. The fact that he and Naruto were now an 'item', as well as Neji and Gaara and not to mention Kiba and Shino (people couldn't tell who topped in that couple...), was way past its expiration date (and already had a thick coating of dust on it) and no new couples had surfaced. Now, Sasuke would never tell anyone (_**anyone**_) but he loved gossip. Couldn't get enough of it in fact. Even more of a gossip whore than either Ino or Sakura or even Chouji! Being friends (or as close as they could get really) with those three really helped with his cravings though. Seriously.

So, now Sasuke was sitting at a quiet table near the back of the library, wondering how to hook one of his friends up and, much more importantly, with who. But he couldn't really control any of this, as it was generally left up to the Pink FlexiRuler of Love to decided the whos, hows, whats, whens, and wheres. Screw the whys. No one cares. So screw them, and screw them good. Sasuke was simply the one who carried out the Pink FlexiRuler's wishes,

And despite how bored (completely, utterly, entirely, absolutely, stunningly, thoroughly, wholly, perfectly, and extremely bored) he was, he was going to keep things the way the Pink FlexiRuler of Love wanted them to be.

How terribly, terribly OOC.

Sasuke suddenly had the impulse to go find Neji and Gaara. Knowing that he never, ever, ever got impulses (unless it was to ravish his utterly blonde, and by that I mean dumb blonde, boyfriend), or unless they were sent by the Pink FlexiRuler of Love, Sasuke decided to act upon the impulse and follow it.

He found the young couple (meaning Neji and Gaara) seated at a picnic table in the school's courtyard, each listening to their own i-Pod. They looked pretty bored as well, but nothing to compare to the Uchiha's boredness level. Sasuke unplugged Gaara's headphones and replaced them with Neji's and put the redhead's in Neji's i-Pod. Both immediately perked up and simultaneously said, "This is my favorite song!"

Neji then preceded to sing, You Spin Me Round while Gaara lip-synced along to What is Love?

Quite pleased with himself, Sasuke turned to leave when another sudden impulse hit him, and he smirked, for it had nothing to do with any current couple. Or so he thought. (Foreshadowing...or is it?)

It had to do with Tenten.

Oh, this was going to be good. Sasuke couldn't wait to see who she got paired with? Hmm...would it be Kankuro? Or Lee? Or maybe even Chouji? He smiled deviously to himself, and set off down the halls, looking for his Panda-haired friend who was a grade older than him. He quickly found her.

"Hullo, Tenten," he said, waving the Pink FlexiRuler of Love in front of her face. Her eyes grew wide once she had assessed her situation. O, woe is Tenten! Poor, poor panda girl! Oh, by the way: do not confuse the title of panda girl with Gaara. He is panda boy. Okay, I'm good now. Onto the story. Well, onto continuing the story, and...yeah,

"You got an impulse, didn't you?" she asked rather fearfully.

"Hn," Sasuke hn'd an affirmative. Tenten's look of complete (utter, absolute, thorough, extreme, etc) fright turned to a very fierce glare that would've anyone other than Sasuke (and Shikamaru, who was too lazy to be scared).

"Well get it away from me!" However, Sasuke would not be daunted. He continued in his tormenting until (finally; it was about time, too!) Tenten snapped. I mean, she seriously snapped. Like, I'm-gonna-break-this-friggin'-number-two-pencil-over-my-knee-because-you-know-what-I-think-who-cares-about-the-stupid-end-of-grade-test-because-clearly-they-were-just-made-to-scare-the-crap-outta-us-students-so-you-know-what-screw-this, snapped. And that is snapping if I ever encountered it. And believe me I have.

"I said GET IT AWAY FROM ME!" With that said (well, shrieked, really, but does that really matter?) Tenten snatched the Pink FlexiRuler (of Love) and sent it sailing through the air and down the hallway.

The furious girl then turned to glare at Sasuke (who, and it must be said here for I'm not sure if it's said later, was quite proud of himself and was openly grinning, which was a big thing for Sasuke, if you remember his personality correctly, aka Mr. Never-Ever-Does-Anything-Past-Smirk-And-Sneer-Oh-And-Make-Out-With-Naruto-And-Other-Things-Too-But-The-Author-Ess-Who-Keeps-Writing-I-Instead-Of-The-Author-Ess-Like-She's-Supposed-To-Will-Not-Mention) before seeing what fate befell the (Pink Flexi-) ruler (of Love) (and ultimately her). However, one simple statement brought both teens out of their stare-off.

"Ow," stated one Kakashi-sensei, the language-skills teacher and arch-rival of one Gai sensei the gym teacher, rubbing his head where one (Pink Flexi-) ruler (of Love) had been chucked at him. He looked down at the (Pink Flexi-) ruler (of Love) before looking in the direction from with it flew.

Where he saw two openly gawping teens. Ha. That's a funny word. Gawping. Just like forsoothe. That's even funnier. Forsooooooooooooothe. Forsoothe! I ought to write that in one of these stories sometime... Oh! Right! The story...he saw two openly gawping teens. Sasuke and Tenten to be exact. Kakashi smiled at them from behind his mask. While Tenten took to staring at him in horror, Sasuke began to laugh hysterically. He ran forward to retrieve the Pink FlexiRuler of Love, and continued running, seeing how Tenten was racing after him, ordering him profusely to "Shut the **hell** up, you goddamned Uchiha!"

Kakashi shrugged. Kids.

Sasuke spent the rest of that day observing how Kakashi and Tenten interacted. However, they didn't. You see, Kakashi taught only the grade Sasuke was in, and Tenten (as I'm positive I've stated before, and in a previous story somewhere) was one grade about him (and his boyfriend, but I'm not seeing how that fit in anywhere). That fact would have dampened his spirits, if it wasn't for his beloved blonde dobe. (So that's how that fit in there!) Him, and The Janitor's Closet.

Oh, how Sasuke and Co. loved The Janitor's Closet.

Cough. However, that has very little to do with this story, so we shall move on. Man, am I getting sidetracked lately. It's like, WOO! Must be this Latin chanting I'm listening to.

_Moving on..._ (See? I told you!)

Sasuke headed to the front doors of the school with a heavy heart. Well he would if he had one. But we at RYFGU Inc. (Rabid Yaoi Fan Girls Unlimited) have some proof, but it's unconclusional. It seems, the Pink FlexiRuler (of Love?) had failed. Oh, how? Would that mean all was for naught? Sure Sasuke had no idea what naught meant, but he'd be damned if he let such a small obstacle of not knowing the definition of a word keep him from using it altogether.

Angstily heaving one last angsty sigh laced with an angsty dose of (angstilicious) angst (angst!), Sasuke turned to leave. However, one particular thing stopped him. That one particular thing happened to be a voice. A voice he recognized vaguely.

"Oh, Kakashi..."

It sounded like Tenten...what a coincidence!

Being stealthy (like a ninja...OMG!!!) Sasuke slunk around the corner, hidden carefully in the shadows despite the fact that it was about three in the afternoon and the sun was shining merrily outside, just in time to see Kakashi lean down to give Tenten a kiss. With his mask still on. Hmm. That's weird.

"I think he nearly found out about us," Tenten said, her hands still intertwined with Sasuke's _teacher's_ (God, that was _wrong_). Suddenly, the girl turned away with tears streaming down her cheeks. "Oh, I know this is so wrong, but I don't think I can keep this a secret anymore from my friends. Except Sasuke. He's such a bastard..."

"Shush," Kakashi shushed her, for lack of better words on the author-ess's part.

It was at that moment that Sasuke decided it was time to leave. He was glad that the Pink FlexiRuler (of Love once more!!!) hadn't failed him, but totally disgusted at the same time.

I mean come on: a girl and a boy? Eew!

And that was said by Sasuke, because the author-ess herself, though she thinks that two boys together is uber sexy, does not share the same feeling for females as she does for boys. Because, when you look at it in a very logical way (which the author-ess often does not) you see that she thinks that boys altogether are uber sexy.

* * *

_Hulloooooo, 'tis I, ELFLING! I'm also sooooooooooooooo sorry for any grammar or other painfully obvious mistakes I put in there. I swear it was not on purpose._

_ Forsoothe!_

I'm sorry I kept writing random (well, more than was originally planned, at least) stuff in there. It was either that or lots and lots of emoness and ANGST because I am listening to a combination of Evanescence and Linkin' Park. Haha, angst fest. So anyway...I wrote this Sunday night, a week back, and decided, "Hey! I ought to type this up and submit it sometime soon!" So, yeah... enjoy! Oh, and sorry for lack of Naru-chan. Also sorry for lack of these very important characters:  
Shino-kun  
Deidara-chan  
Tobi-kun  
Haku-san.  
Mm-kays, bye!

_Oh, one last thing, I swear! Note to all readers: Strapless bras are a bitch and annoying. Thank you and good night._


End file.
